4 months

March 5

It has been 4 months.

Time seems to be flying by, and I still often seem to lose track of it. Our days are busy, filled again with the regular routines of work, school, and daily life. I was meaning to write something at the beginning of February, to mark the three month anniversary of Oscar’s birth and death, and to update everyone with how we are doing, but I guess I got caught up in our day to day, as here we are in March! It’s fitting, I suppose, as March is Trisomy awareness month, and Oscar taught many of us quite a bit about what it can mean to be born with an extra 18th chromosome.

We are still doing well, as I often say. We are learning how to live with a loss, how to find our way into life again, how to cope with (and accept) the moments of sadness that sometimes strike, and how to continue to enjoy all the precious moments that continue to unfold. Alice is growing and changing, and talking more every day. She loves to pour through family pictures (her favourite bed time story right now is our photobook of 2014), and points out everyone including Oscar (which makes me smile every time). Emma seems to be thriving at school and is still dragon boating like crazy, gearing up for late spring and early summer races. Peter continues to enjoy his work, taking on new challenges and sinking his teeth into every project. I went back to work in January (one of the reasons I’ve been busy I guess!); I started a temporary part time position on the palliative care unit, and I find the work incredibly rewarding. The team is incredible, and I’m lucky to play a small part in the lives of the patients I meet. I’ve had people ask, but I’ve found it a very soothing place to be after Oscar’s death. I think there is something beneficial in being in an environment which accepts death as a part of life, and seeks to make the end of life as comfortable and meaningful as possible.

We have many little reminders of Oscar around. I’ve been sorting through photos, and have made books for various family members. We are planning his internment (we have the niche at the cemetery) and have picked a spot at the hospital for his memorial tile. Little things like seeing an owl on someone’s sweater bring a smile to my face. I still have things to do, like his baby book. He will always be present in our lives, and it’s nice to have these little reminders. I still reflect a lot on what I learned from him, whether it be coping with challenges or enjoying the littlest moments.

We have many moments to look forward to in the next few months as well, including meeting some new cousins, having Peter’s parents over for a visit, and a couple of upcoming trips. (I may have convinced Peter that Alice is not too young for Disneyland. Peter and I are also heading to the Caribbean in June!)

So lots to think about, lots to do, still lots to learn, and lots to be thankful for.

Thanks for letting me tell our story.