Oscar's birthday story

I keep saying I’ll share more of Oscar’s story soon; here it is, with (family friendly) pictures!

After having done all the prep I could to prepare for labour, we decided to go ahead with an induction on Tuesday November 4th. We didn’t get a call from the hospital that morning, so thought we might be bumped to the 5th (inductions are done on a priority basis), but by midday everything had been arranged and at 2:30 we were at the hospital.

We met with our midwife and an obstetrician, and it was decided they would start the induction with a prostaglandin gel (there are a few different methods of induction depending on the situation). Oscar and I were monitored for an hour, then sent home to rest and wait (sometimes it can take a while to get things going). By early evening I was having frequent, regular contractions, but nothing too intense. We had dinner at home with Peter’s parents (they had arrived on the 3rd), gave Alice her bath and put her to bed, and went back to the hospital for another check in and further induction.

By this point the contractions were feeling more intense, and still very close together. Oscar was being monitored regularly, and was continuing to do well. As things progressed it was decided that I would stay in hospital, and I was moved to a labour/delivery/recovery suite. My labour progressed quite quickly, and sometime after 1 am Peter was on the phone with family telling them to make their way to the hospital.

At 2:04, Oscar entered the world. He gave a cry to tell us he had made it, and I was able to hold him right away. He had a full head of hair, and was covered with vernix (or baby cheese, as it’s affectionately known). I told him I loved him, and was so proud of him. He needed some help with his breathing (similar to Alice, the speedy delivery hadn’t given him enough of a squeeze), so Peter cut the cord and the pediatrician took him for some stimulation and oxygen. Oscar perked up quickly, and we were able to hold him again. He seemed quite alert, and was looking at people as well as looking around.

My parents, Emma, and David (Peter’s dad) were all there, and they all came in to meet Oscar (Julia (Peter’s mom) was at home with Alice, who was sleeping). The hospital chaplain was also there, and she baptized Oscar in a beautiful formal ceremony (much nicer than the “break glass for emergency baptism” we were anticipating!).

Oscar was then passed around, and I don’t think anyone wanted to let him go. Morag (our doula/photographer) went to get me a snack, and came back with carrot cake she had found in the fridge. Since there was cake, she suggested we sing happy birthday. David called our house, and Julia was able to talk to Oscar and hear his voice. He had a beautiful little mewing cry; it didn’t sound like he was in any distress, just like he has saying hi and letting us know he was there.

Around 3:30 Oscar started to get quieter, and he stopped breathing. We held Oscar and told him we loved him, and as I was kissing him he took a big breath and squawked, like he was annoyed at my crying! After that he started breathing again, and he was with us for a little while longer. We held him and talked to him, and it just seemed like he was getting tired and drifting off to sleep. Eventually his breathing stopped again, and his heart slowly followed. It was so quiet and peaceful, there was no one moment where we knew he had gone.

At 3:55, the nurse confirmed Oscar had died. We continued to hold him, and sat and cried together. A therapist from Canuck place arrived a little later for memory making (including hand and foot prints and molds). We did those, and took the time to admire every inch of Oscar’s little body (I say little, but at 5 lbs 9 oz and almost 18 inches, he was a good size!).

Julia arrived, and was able to hold Oscar while it still felt like he was close by.

Our midwife stayed with us, and once our family had left she helped Peter and I give Oscar a bath. We bathed him, dressed him and held him, then placed him in a bassinet beside my bed.

Peter and I managed to sleep for an hour or two, and then Alice came for a visit. She was so gentle and quiet (those of you who know Alice know that isn’t her usual state!). We talked about Oscar, and she looked at him and even held him.

After she left, we completed our final paperwork and packed up our things, and it started to feel like time to say goodbye. The funeral home arrived to pick up Oscar, and we tucked him in and helped them secure Oscar for his trip. We didn’t want to let him go, but at the same time had a sense he really was already gone. By mid afternoon we were on our way home.

It’s amazing how many things can happen in what would normally seem like such a short time span. The entire process, from starting the induction to heading home that last time, took less than 24 hours. Oscar was with us for less than two hours, but somehow that day, and especially those two hours, encompassed an entire lifetime. It is a day, and a life, we will never forget.