Preparation
As many of you know, I tend to be a list maker :) Preparing for Oscar's arrival has been no different, so I thought I'd list a few of the things we have done to prepare, both as a bit of a summary, and in case it might be helpful to someone in a similar situation down the road.
Regular baby stuff:
With Alice about to turn two, we were lucky to have a lot of the "regular baby supplies" still around if needed. The car seat, playpen and bouncy seat are dusted off and ready to go, but not set up in case we don't need them.
I bought a small supply of newborn diapers and wipes, just in case. It felt nice to get Oscar a few regular baby things.
We have bought a few different baby outfits, in little sizes. We also got him a little hat which matches the one Alice had when she was born.
My hospital bag is packed, we have plans in place for Alice and Emma, and the phone list is ready to go.
Labour/birth prep:
We've worked with our health care team to develop Oscar's birth and care plan. It includes specific details and our overall wishes, and will be on our chart when we go into hospital. That way everyone knows the plan, and there shouldn't be too many surprises. The key point is that although we don't want any "heroic measures" (no cpr or breathing tubes), we do want Oscar to be assessed and treated as an individual, and have whatever needs he is expressing responded to. We don't know how he'll do during or after birth, so we'll all just have to take it as it comes.
I'm doing everything I can to prepare myself for a "smooth" labour, and to get my body ready. This includes everything from general relaxation (I've been going for regular massages, prenatal yoga classes, and have a pedicure booked for Monday!) to acupuncture for labour preparation, to a few homeopathic remedies suggested by the midwives.
Now that we're so close, we don't want Oscar to go overdue (because of the effects the trisomy has on the placenta, there is a chance I won't go into labour naturally). We've decided to try a few more of the midwives' tricks to get labour going next week, and if those don't work I will be induced some time after November 3rd. It's hard to believe that after months of hoping he would not be born early, we're now looking at encouraging him to come out!
We're working with a doula and birth photographer (Morag of apple blossom families). She will be there throughout the labour to help support Peter and I, and to take pictures to help us preserve as many memories as possible.
The team at Canuck Place has helped us come up with other memory making ideas, including hand and foot prints and molds. I also have a special baby book I've ordered for Oscar, which is designed for children who may not survive birth or long after. It is beautifully done, with removable pages so you can use the sections that apply to your baby and not feel bad about blank pages. We ordered it from www.foreverheart.ca
Mental preparation:
We're lucky that we've been able to talk a lot. To each other, our families, our friends, and various health professionals. We have support from our midwives, family doctors, and counselors, and have (hopefully) set things up so it will be easy to get whatever help we need after Oscar is born. One of my theories has been that I know Oscar's birth will be a stressful time, so in doing as much preparation as I can now, we will be freed up to deal with the stress and emotions we can't otherwise prepare for or anticipate.
Preparing for all possible outcomes:
The uncertainty around how Oscar might do has been one of the hardest things to deal with. On one hand, it is amazing to know he has a chance, however small, at survival and some time with us. On the other hand, preparing for things as varied as stillbirth to bringing home a child with special needs has been an emotional roller coaster. Again, though, it has helped to prepare for as much as we can.
We've arranged to have Oscar baptized immediately after his birth, if possible.
We've researched funeral and burial arrangements, so we know what to do in case he doesn't survive.
We've toured Canuck place, so we know where we could spend time together as a family, either in a hospice setting or preparing for discharge home.
If he does come home, we have the basics in place and have support to help us get whatever else we might need. We have both family support and the knowledge we'll be connected to the home healthcare system as needed.
Among all this preparation, life carries on. Alice is spending a few days with Grams and Gramps in Langley, getting spoiled and having fun. Emma is settling into her high school routine again, staying on top of her homework (hopefully!), enjoying her classes (especially english and sewing), and getting back into the dragonboat practice routine. Peter is keeping busy at work, and preparing to wrap things up so we can have some time together when Oscar is born. Peter's parents will arrive from England on the 3rd, so all the grandparents will be here to hopefully meet Oscar. I'm keeping myself busy with little projects around the house (nesting I guess!) and getting what rest I can. We had some maternity and family photos done on Sunday, and thanks to the amazing Shona of sweet earth photographics, I already have a few to share.
At this point (38 weeks!!!), all the preparation is done. All we can do is wait and hope. We know there are so many people waiting and hoping along with us, which makes the load so much easier to bear. We will keep you updated, and should have news of Oscar's arrival in the next week or two.
Love Jill, Peter, Emma, Alice and Oscar
